What I Really Meant To Say
by Ami L. Mendal
Summary: One year after their break-up, Ginny and Draco run into each other. How will they handle it? One-shot song-fic based on the Cyndi Thomson song.


**A/N: **No, I have not given up my other fics. This has just been bothering me to write for a few weeks now. Read, enjoy, review. In that order. :) (_Italics_ are lyrics - Cyndi Thomson - What I Really Meant To Say)

-.-.-

It had been exactly a year since their gentle break-up. She let him down easy, remembering the passion and love they'd expressed like it was first-nature. Honestly, if you asked her, she didn't want to do it. There was too much darkness, too much hostility in the air of their families. She wanted nothing more than to run away and marry him, but she wasn't senseless. No one in her family understood - they didn't even try to. Not even when she begged, pleaded and reasoned with them.

This is their story.

-.-.-

I sat on the bench outside The Leaky Cauldron. Sipping my butterbeer, I mindlessly glanced around me. A group of friends had gathered at a nearby table, laughing and enjoying themselves. A few feet from that, an elderly woman read _The Daily Prophet_ and took a bite of her croissant.

What I couldn't take my eyes off of was a young couple holding hands, staring lovingly at each other. The man, with dark hair and a deep complexion, whispered something sweet from across their table. The woman smiled sweetly and looked down, what I presumed to be an attempt at hiding a blush. I smiled sadly at them and wished, just once, I would have another chance at love.

When I turned to sip my drink, I heard someone walk up behind me. Slowly, as if questioning themselves, they made their way to face me. That's when my breath caught in my throat.

_It took me by surprise when I saw you standing there._

I imagined I looked like a deer in headlights. This was the last time and place I thought we would run into each other. At the very place we ended our relationship. A year to the day I ripped my own heart out and tore it to bits.

_Close enough to touch, breathing the same air._

I thought, maybe, if I could just reach out and grab his hand... would he realize I couldn't stand being away from him? Would he feel the sadness that echoed through my day-to-day life? I feared he would never understand why I followed through with our break-up.

_You asked me how I'd been. I guess that's when I smiled and said "Just fine." Oh but baby I was lying._

Although I attempted to be sweet, I know I killed him on the inside when I spoke to him a year ago. And now, as I managed a meek smile, I looked down at my lap. I wanted so badly to tell him the truth. I was sure he wouldn't believe me.

_What I really meant to say is I'm dying here inside, and I miss you more each day._

I desperately wanted to explain how I woke up every day, feeling the need of his arms around me. No matter how hard I tried, each day all I could think of was him. A song I would hear in the shower, an innocent passerby on the streets of London, even a mere glimpse of a word would send me reeling back to an inside joke we so easily enjoyed with each other.

_There's not a night I haven't cried. And baby here's the truth: I'm still in love with you._

I would always be head over heals for the blond man before me. While mean-spirited and cold to others, he was always warm and loving towards me. His steely eyes staring into my brown ones, I easily melted into him with such forcelessness, I could've sworn we were destined for each other.

He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, his relaxation position. I bit my lip to keep from crying as my body screamed to be held.

"I've never been happier," I lied. You flashed a fake smile, gave a curt nod, stood up, and left without another word.

_And as you walked away the echo of my words cut just like a knife; cut so deep it hurt._

'Didn't you see through me, Draco?' I thought desperately. 'Couldn't you always sense when I didn't tell the truth? Why not now...?'

A flash of lightning lit the sky, highlighting his platinum hair that slipped farther and farther away from me. This would be the second time I'd let him leave my life - and I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening.

_I held back the tears, held on to my pride and watched you go._

A clap of thunder sounded through the wind and I felt the air around me go damp. It was going to storm, hard, and I didn't even care. While the other patrons rushed to leave before the sky released its tears, I imagined it cried for me... cried for him... and cried for us. The us that would never be again.

_I wonder if you'll ever know._

I couldn't stand it anymore. Before he reached out of sight, I ran to him. With each step I took, with each ragged breath I drew, the rain came down harder. In just seconds, I was drenched from head to toe.

"Draco!" I cried, not only to catch his attention, but also to feel the familiar name on my lips. He turned, caught off-guard at the sight of me rushing for him.

"Draco..._ What I really meant to say is I'm dying here inside, and I miss you more each day. There's not a night I haven't cried. And baby here's the truth, I'm still in love with you_"

He opened his mouth to speak, but I held my hand up to cut him off. Another flash of lightning. Soon after, a loud and powerful rage of thunder followed. His eyes read amazement and confusion as I continued,

"_What I really meant to say is I'm really not that strong. No matter how I try, I'm still holding on. And here's the honest truth: I'm still in love with you..."_

My hair stuck to my face, my clothes clung to my body like a desperate child lost from its mother. I felt his hand, soft and loving, rub my cheek affectionately. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his skin against mine in the cooling stormy air. When I opened them again, I placed my forehead against his and whispered,

_"That's what I really meant to say_"

-.-.-

FiN!

**A/N:** Oh my gosh, I actually like this story. I suppose I'm happy with it because it's just been one of those little plot bunnies, jumping around in my head. It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been singing this song and dancing the cabbage patch. Anywho, I'm rambling and you have things to do. Thanks to Alecz & Andy (again) for beta-ing this chapter for mistakes. Please review!


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